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The Truth About Integrity "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." --Zig Ziglar Luck Is What You Make It "Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work -- and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't." --Lucille Ball Elegant Persuasion "Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple, or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions, nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous." --Leonardo da Vinci The Territory of Self Persuasion "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman Question Frames Try this: I'm sure you'll get it real quick but because you're all such good folks out there, I want you to spell the word 'folk' three times. Do it right now in your mind. Spell the word 'folk' three times as fast as you can. Spending Through Sadness The John F. Kennedy School for Government at Harvard University recently released a study that found that even momentary sadness causes people to increase spending. The Art of Gratitude "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought What Happens When You Refuse to Persuade "No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority." --Joseph Addison The Times They're A-Changing Back Again Maybe "You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." - Jim Rohn The Art of Procrastination "We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful." --Arnold Bennett Inoculating Yourself Against Rejection We all had them as children -- those painful shots that prevented all sorts of nasty diseases. Now that we're grown ups, we know why we needed them, but when we were little kids, it didn't make any difference because the only thing we understood was that they hurt and left us sort. It's All in the Attitude I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism's hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! (author unknown) Stop Shoving Your Prospects Down Rabbit Holes I'm not naming names here, and it's possible no one has even paid this person much attention. . . out there in the world, one of my former students is attempting to teach criteria elicitation. That's it. And while I truly believe criteria elicitation is a phenomenal way to sell, I don't think a body of knowledge as complex as persuasion (human nature), can be distilled and synthesized down to one question especially if you're working with a high end, affluent client base. Jumping Off the Bandwagon Yeah, I know, things are getting expensive. Grocery prices are soaring because gas prices are soaring because there's a war going on because a fear of scarcity has been instilled in us because . . . well, it's complicated, right? Regardless of the reasons, I get back to the point that things are expensive. How to Drink from a Fire Hose While I'm thrilled that all my thirsty new students are so eager to learn that they'd work themselves into a frenzy to try to get it all at once, I don't want that passion for persuasion to become stressful or overwhelming. As one person put it, "I kind of feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose." I want you all to fear not. Persuasion And Your Brain "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche Bound to Buy Binds are a fascinating technique which I love to use in persuasion and which should be used sparingly, adding seasoning to your arsenal of tools. The Unthinkable I recently saw a humorous bumper sticker that read, "Don't believe everything you think." I liked it because it made me ponder thought and how at times, I find thinking to be somewhat overrated. Open Your Ears "It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes The Law of Resonance Recently I heard an interesting story about the law of resonance. This law is similar to the law of attraction -- the universal law of like attracting like -- but not exactly the same. While attraction brings into your life what you're putting out, resonance is slightly different. The Persuasive Power of Focus Here's an understatement for you: we live in a world of distractions. In every facet of life we are bombarded. As I sit here typing, for example, I'm getting 'new e-mail' alerts, my assistant is instant messaging me, my kids and dog want to play, I'm thirsty, the phone is ringing. . . you get the point. Just writing one paragraph can be exhausting when there are so many things dividing ones attention. Choosing Your Own Way "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl On Becoming Productive Through Persuasion When we learn to persuade, we have the added bonus of being able to use our persuasion skills on ourselves. We are able to naturally accomplish anything when we can self-persuade. Reframing Habits Habits... they come in all forms. Most people think of habits as the irritating things you wish you didn't "have" to do, fingernail biting, knuckle cracking, compulsive snacking, cigarette smoking. Of course smoking is more of a psychological/physical need that is satisfied by another cigarette, so is a little bit more than a habit. Peeve Number One: The Victim Mentality "Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." --Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC Cleaning Up Your Language: Persuasive Oration Language, like persuasion, is an art. It's an art that can be mangled, yes. And as with any art, unless you're a prodigy, as Mozart was with music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with poetry, as Pablo Picasso was with painting, then most likely you will have to practice to be good at the art of language. The Best Frame Wins I'm guessing this has never happened to you (or to anybody in the history of the world ever). You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, and you get pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to your car, you roll down the window, and he says, "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think maybe a slight infraction of the law has occurred. . . I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind showing me your license and registration. I'm so sorry to inconvenience you here." Intrinsically Linked: Rapport and Criteria "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett auditory persuasion As you listen to what I'm going to tell you, you'll begin to hear the way in which you can use these words to describe most anything. You can orient your phrases and the way in which you talk such that people will resonate with what you're saying very well. If you make your voice calm and smooth you'll probably have an even greater appeal as you verbalize the message you want to get across. You can tune in to what people are telling you as well, becoming more empathic with them and helping them to understand exactly your meaning to all the words that you have. going above and beyond for an affluent clientle I recently read a story about the Ritz Carlton Hotel that got me to thinking about how to really cater to and take care of a wealthy client, thereby keeping them interested and connected to you and your product or service. self persuasion through organization If you're anything like me, you're a very busy person. Not only am I busy with regular things--teaching, family, health maintenance--I'm also in the midst of a moving, requiring an added list of what needs to be done. It's hard to believe how much has to be done in a day and because this is on my mind, I'm inspired to write more on the topic of organization as I believe it has helped keep me on even footing in a time of change. big softy I'm curious. . . personal persuasion In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs. Cultivate Your Curiosity I recently came across the following list written/compiled by David Heenan: Ten Keys to Life Fulfillment: 1. Listen to your heart 2. Take one step at a time 3. Deliver daily 4. Maintain a maverick mind-set 5. Focus, focus, focus 6. Never stop learning 7. Build a brain trust (network of knowledgeable people) 8. Reinvent Yourself 9. Sell Yourself 10. Start now! Historical Frames "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." --Abraham H. Maslow More Linguistic Pitfalls Well. . .it seems like some of my readers have been paying careful attention. I like that. A while back I wrote an article about the eight most common avoidable pitfalls in language--but, if, try and might. Hey, that's not eight! What are the other four? Several people commented on my blog that I was utilizing the open loop method of persuasion by saying there were eight, and only revealing four. Was this intentional? Maybe. Towards And Away: The 'away' Perspective When I teach my students about the towards and away continuum, I get asked the following question a lot: Isn't an 'away' person just a really negative personality type? I want to start out by saying, no, not necessarily. I won't deny the fact that there are truly negative people out there, but a person who is inclined to move away from a problem as opposed to running towards an outcome, is not fundamentally negative. Critique Your Speeches With My Ears I've been asked quite a bit lately by students and clients if I will listen to presentations or speeches they are giving to see what more can be added to their persuasion skills. Sadly, I haven't figured out a way to stretch time and I don't have enough hours in a day to help in this way. Persuasion Continuums Ii: Getting In Deeper In a previous article "Persuasion Continuums" I began to describe one of the most powerful tools of persuasion. When I last left you, you were either completely confused about or you were well on your way to understanding one of the slickest tools in the persuasion toolbox. Touchy Feely Persuasion Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. Persuading With The Help Of Scapegoats Seems like for a while there nearly every car in the U.S. had a "United We Stand" bumper sticker. These stickers imply that our standing united was our only salvation. When we don't stand united, what happens? Of course, we fall divided. The Reframing Of A Killer: Sugar Is Good As I was doing some internet research recently, I came across a banner ad that said, "Skip artificals. Go natural. Sugar: sweet by nature. Only 15 calories per teaspoon." How To Not Become Rich 1. Wait for approval or permission from society. I Presuppose So At the core of presupposition is the idea that we can assume a mental position or thought which our prospects or clients must take for granted in order for everything else that we say to make sense without us actually having to name the core concept. Flexing Your Persuasion Muscles I'm a new man. Over the last few years I've shed over one hundred and forty pounds of unwanted fat. I have a new attitude toward food and have learned to love the exercising. Getting Into The Flow Of Affluence I'm so excited about a fairly recent addition to my coaching club: one-on-one calls with my students. These calls give us an opportunity to get into all kinds of things, from persuasion, affluence, and specialized help for specific areas where there might be struggle, to more spiritual matters. It seems like I'm getting as much out of these calls as my students. Slipping Into Our Prospect's Skin We've all heard the old saying, 'You can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.' To add to the other 'energy' techniques I've written about in previous articles, I'd like to tell you about a great rapport builder of jumping into someone else's skin and walking a mile in their shoes. In "To Kill a Mockingbird" Harper Lee wrote, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Self Persuasion: Begin By Beginning Despite the predictability of human nature, we're pretty complex creatures. Even if all things were equal (education, parenting, etc) where one person is achieving goal after goal, others get stuck in holding patterns. Do You Need A Swift Kick In The Butt? Ever since I can remember, starting from when I was a young boy, I've struggled with my weight. I was stuck in a body that didn't represent my mind's view of myself, but did represent a weakness I had in relation to food. It always brought to mind the Andrew Carnegie quote, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." I knew that this struggle was holding me back from total mastery and it frustrated me to no end. Persuasion Or Sneakiness? A student of mine posted a comment on my blog recently. She noticed I used an example of a presupposition with the relationship between a teacher and student and suggested that maybe I was being sneaky using the example, as if my intention was to persuade her. Ways We Learn: Small Pieces Of Persuasion I recently had a student ask me, "Kenrick, how do you keep track all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a call, you pull out another technique. Sometimes I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." Kicking Negativity "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD Rapid Rapport With Storytelling You're face-to-face with a new prospect. They know very little about you, about the kind of person you are, and maybe they've got some defenses that you're going to have to overcome before trust can be established. Organizing For Persuasion "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein Spare Parts: Segmenting Personality For Sales Persuasion What is a part? If I say, a part of me wants this and a part of me wants that, what am I talking about? What are those things? Well, for one thing, it's a way of talking about our experience. The Blame Game "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer The Art Of Change 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Stratagem And Persuasion "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb Seeing The Light: Visual Systems Of Representation In previous articles I've written about the representational systems we all use in relation to communication and how we see the world (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic being the most widely used) and the value it has in gaining rapport with your affluent prospects and clients. In this article, I want to focus our sites on visual language. Visualization And Imagination "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer Luxury: It's All Relative "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." --Charlie Chaplin Selling Through Future Pacing Here's a bit of an advanced technique. It's called future pacing and it works to remind your prospect or client of all the reasons they made the decision to buy your product or service. It transfers all of these reasons to a future point in time and triggers your prospect to remember them when an anchor is fired off. Appealing To Emotions In Business This might, on the surface, sound a little out there, but here's something I find overrated: Rationality. Sure, sure, it's important to have a solid foundation, a base from which to work, feet planted firmly on the ground, and all that, but in business the idea of rationality has won out exclusively over all else. In my opinion, we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' businesses to faceless corporations. An integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle, is our ability to reach them on an emotional level. The Double Edged Sword: Maintaining Boundaries In Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Picking And Choosing: Power Persuasion Metaphors While the concept of 'energy' may seem new-agey, I personally find it integral to the understanding of self, which is the first step in understanding persuasion. Using The Forbidden To Persuade 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Awareness Pattern In Persuasion "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller A Linguistical Dance: Repetition In Threes "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley Master Your Fears "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain Blame As Persuasion: Use With Caution In a previous article I talked about using the term 'everything happens for a reason' to utilize the trust that many people have in this concept. I also wrote about superstition and the concept that 'there are no accidents' which happens to be a very powerful persuasion tool, and if you've read those two articles and attempted to implement the learning into your life, you already know what I mean about power. Your Own Personal Genie: Creating Your Universe In Pictures We've all had the experience of wanting something that has eluded us. Maybe it's wealth, possessions, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's optimum health or other physical attributes which for some reason or another we have not been able to conjure up. Adjusting Your Lens For Maximum Persuasion In previous articles I've discussed some framing basics. Obviously, framing can't be summed up in a few little articles, but it's a foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Resolutions Yup. It's that time of year again. Fresh starts, new beginnings, an opportunity to recreate ourselves anew. . . I love welcoming a new year with hope and optimism. I love to set out a game plan for the upcoming year. The New Year's resolution is a concept devoted to self improvement and I am relentless about self improvement. The Effect Of Calibration Back, twenty some years ago when I was selling gym memberships, there was a trainer who was a great guy, really funny and sociable, but he just never understood how to communicate with certain people. In a way, he was genuinely himself all the time, but on the other hand this often brought him right up against a wall where he was ineffective in his job. Yes! "All that man achieves, and all that he fails to achieve is a direct result of his own thoughts." -James Allen Setting Your Frame From The Start Beginnings are everywhere all the time. Everything has a beginning, middle and end. And when we begin with clarity and intention, it sets our path for what we can expect. Sitting down to start a presentation with a new client or prospect, how do you begin? Using Superstition To Persuade: "there Are No Accidents" 'Very superstitious, writing's on the wall Very superstitious, ladders bout' to fall Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past The Edge: Persuade Using Our Ingrained Drive To Compete Lately I've been really dedicated to working out and recently I noticed something interesting at the gym. My gym is most definitely not a meat market. A very large percentage of the patrons are there because they care about their health and not for dating purposes or to see and be seen. Ways To Learn Persuasion I recently had a student ask me, "Kenrick, how do you keep track all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a call, you pull out another technique. Sometimes I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." Trying On Someone Else's Skin We've all heard the saying, you can't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This technique is a figurative expression of that saying. It is about how to gain rapport by putting ourselves inside the person we're trying to persuade. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." How To Short Circuit Buyer's Remorse Every single human being on the planet today wants to believe that they have done something of value for themselves when they've made a purchase, and that they've used their ability to choose well and make a good decision. And as a result of this they want to know they're not going to feel bad about the choices they've made. Buyer's Remorse And How To Short Circuit It When making purchase large and small, it is human nature for us to want to make sure we've made sound and proper decisions with keen determination and an eye towards value and greatest use. Receptivity To Our Prospect's Energy From time-to-time I like to bring up some concepts that might be considered a little woo woo. I ask your indulgence with this and suggest that if it works, even woo woo has value. Gut Check: Calibrating With Yourself Intuition is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process". What Are You Full Of? When we interact with prospects, especially an affluent clientle, we need to really show them what we're made of. Over-confidence, arrogance, cockiness, braggery. . .these are NOT good things to be full of. Self-assurance, competency, confidence, and self-value. . . are excellent things to be full of. Choosing a Talisman for Affluence Amulet and talisman have been around since the beginning of time. These are objects that either bring luck or protect from evil. I'm very certain, though I have no proof, that the first man to walk the earth probably found a rock or shell or acorn and thought to himself, 'This is a lucky item. I'm going to carry it with me to protect me.' The Persuasion of Isolation Last year I saw a documentary about the cult leader Jim Jones called "Jonestown: The Life And Death of People's Temple". It is the history of the murder/"suicide" of 913 members of the People's Temple in Guyana through photos, clips, recordings and interviews of surviving members. Persuasion Through Base Desires I spend a lot of time thinking about persuasion. Over the last year and a half I've spent a tremendous amount of time thinking of self-persuasion and self-mastery and as a result have noticed some phenomenal results in my life. Group Rapport: Shovel It Up and Filter It Out When I was first starting out in the business of persuasion, I had some difficulty with anxiety surrounding live events and seminars. Prior to a seminar for about a week, I'd become unbearable to be around. The wife and kids avoided me, even the dog steered clear. I didn't like it, but thought it was just the cost of doing business. And as if that weren't bad enough, after the event, I'd have an equally difficult "crash" or let down, not because the event wasn't successful, but because a huge amount of energy was expended and released and left me feeling as if I needed some recovery time. The Intent Behind Persuasion: I'm a Believer Baggage. It's an overused pop cultural term for the excess and useless constructs and perceived damage we've experienced in our lives. We've all got baggage-whether it be in the form of how we experienced our youth to the absolute worst romantic relationship we've ever had to the one who broke our heart. Purely Emotional Persuasion: The Use of Storytelling I'll admit it. I cry at movies sometimes. I'm comfortable with it and not ashamed in the least. Movies are stories and stories have been used to elicit emotions (either by design or accident) since the beginning of man. Some of the most fantastic stories are tremendously moving. This emotion can be manifested as a 'feel good' or a 'tear jerker', it can be uplifting or depressing, revolutionary, or merely entertaining. The most important thing to keep upper most in your mind as you think about stories, is that they are an opening, a hole, so to speak, that you can fill with a message, your message. I Am An Onion: Layers of Complexity in Persuasion and Life I love metaphors. And one metaphor that has been especially potent for me lately has been that of an onion. A core component of The Cleveland Method deals with an understanding of our own core drives and unconscious motivations. It's by focusing inward that we can genuinely understand others. Further Adventures in Framing Framing is the most powerful concept in persuasion. When we look at the big picture we see that everything can be thought of as a frame. By using political or religious examples (and any other taboo/controversial thing I can come up with), I am in no way endorsing one side or the other-though of course I do have personal opinions-rather, I'm showing that we all have blind spots. Find a belief that you believe fervently, feverishly, fanatically, even, and I'm going to suggest that you may be blind to the opposite side of the issue. Unselfconscious Affluence Not all of us grew up with money. In fact, several of my most successful students are real rags to riches stories. It was through single-minded perseverance, education, intention, hard work and a little luck, that the greatest successes have created vast financial universes. Becoming Magnetic I know a very spiritual woman who has recently realized a reversal in her circumstances: She told me, 'I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.' Manifesting Your Desires with Paper Seeds I lived on my grandpa's farm as a kid and he taught me some very important life lessons including the Biblical verse: As you sow, so shall you reap. Beyond Boxes If you've ever sold anything ever, you've probably been subjected to the dreaded 'sales training' where you may have been taught your typical 'features and benefits' type training or some other easily definable, package-able, pat kind of interaction between prospect and sales professional. I learned these myself as a young man and quickly realized they were a road to nowhere. I had an awakening which opened up my sales unbelievably. Master of Stories 'Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.' -Jeffrey Gitomer Polarity Responders: Contrary to All Belief We've all had to deal with a polarity responder at one time or another. . . someone who regardless of the situation, has to respond in opposition to everything. 'It's a beautiful day.' Persuasion Continuums: The Key To Your Prospect's Particulars Recently I heard a comedian tell this joke, 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Eliciting Peak Emotional States for Persuasive Power I'm sure you've had this experience: you're driving down the road, listening to the radio, and suddenly you're transported back to a memory from ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. A song, maybe not even a great song, or a song you particularly liked very much back then comes on the radio. Maybe it reminds you of a time when you were in love, or when you were heartbroken, or when you were having the time of your life with friends. Persistence Today I start with a quote by Dale Carnegie. "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Negating Words: But I really like you, but. . . Is it true? Does Everything Happen for a Reason? Last week I got a call from an acquaintance of mine. He said, 'Remember that conversation we had about Africa a few weeks ago? Well, I just checked my e-mail and you won't believe it. I won an international lottery originating in Africa. You know, I'm just convinced everything happens for a reason, don't you think?' Is it true? Does Everything Happen for a Reason? I got a call from an acquaintance a while back. He said, 'Do you remember the conversation we had about Africa? Well, I checked my e-mail and found, unbelievably, that I won an international lottery which originated in Africa. I'm just convinced that everything happens for a reason, aren't you?' When Friendlies Attack I like the way Abraham Lincoln said it best, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" Old Fashioned Sales: Features and Benefits How do you know when your pasta is done cooking? You take one noodle and throw it up against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. The old-fashioned sales technique of 'features and benefits' makes me think of throwing a whole pot of noodles against the wall to see what sticks. Why not narrow it down to your client's criteria instead of taking a shot in the dark and throwing everything you can at it? First Step: Create Your Universes "Civilization advances as more and more of life's essentials are absorbed by the unconscious." -Diane Ackerman, "An Alchemy of Mind: The Marvel and Mystery of the Brain" Returning to Bondage "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependency back again into bondage." --Sir Alex Fraser Tyler (1742-1813) Scottish jurist and historian Persuasive Breath: Self Fulfilling Prophesy "Simply breathe - deeply and often, and whatever you do, don't stop breathing!" --Cheryl Lynne Rubbo In this exercise, you're going to learn to lead your wealthy clients and prospects with a simple word: breathe. It's something they do to stay alive, and yet, you're going to take credit for this biological function for persuasion purposes. Persuading Through Embedded Suggestions "Persuasion is often more effectual than force." -Aesop Ditching the Pitch/Script and Using Persuasion "The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself." - Peter F. Drucker Curiosity: The Desire to Explore the Unknown We are born ready to suck up as much information as we possibly can. The world around us is an endless source of fascination and curiosity. And as we grow, and if we have our base needs met, we soon come to the point of requiring more--the process of self-actualization. What's all the fuss about 'The Secret'? How do you know if something has really made it into the collective consciousness? Language Pattern: Awareness "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." - Henry Miller Resonating with Affluence: What is your worth? The field of study of persuasion is vast. It's as vast as the study of human nature. And lately in my work, I've narrowed the focus significantly to persuading and selling to an affluent clientle. It's Time To Bury Cold Calling Sometimes it's hard to let go. We've all been there... not wanting to say goodbye to something that we've outgrown, not letting go of someone who wasn't good for us. Becoming the Ultimate Empathizer When we become the ultimate empathizer, we are able to identify with, understand, and respond to other's experiences. The Benefits of Patient Attention For a few years of my childhood I lived on my grandfather's farm. He used to have me help him plant trees. What The Martians Must Think Indulge me. Let's enter the realm of fantasy for a moment. Not THAT kind of fantasy, but the world of make believe, fairy tale, science fiction. The Incongruent Larry Craig 'The Usual Suspects', a movie from 1995, had a really interesting interrogation scene. The Silent Side of Persuasion This is crazy. . . It's a few weeks old, but very interesting in terms of when to talk and when not to talk. Persuasion Within The Pink Bubble "It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, Of all things physical and metaphysical, Of all things human and all things super-human, Of all true manifestations of the head, Of the heart, of the soul, That the life is recognizable in its expression, That form ever follows function. This is the law." ~Louis Sullivan Islamophobia: The Persuasion Power of Words Prejudice and fear, bigotry and racism exist all around us. Whether you buy into the existence of it or not, we live in a world that has some ingrained phobias and -isms. Race, sex, class, size, religion. . . some people, maybe not you, maybe not me, but some people, believe that they are superior over or have a hatred or fear of another race, gender, religion, etc. How to Use Social Positioning to Persuade Affluent Prospects "Do not worry about holding high position; worry rather about playing your proper role." ~Confucius Working With Your Other-Than-Conscious for Motivation "It is as if evolution has built a safety device in our nervous system that allows us to experience full happiness only when we are living at 100% - when we are fully using the physical and mental equipment we have been given." ~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Gaslighting: Stirring Up Doubt There's a psychological technique called gaslighting which is incredibly potent especially in persuasive situations. Frame, Reframe My transcriptionist lived in New Orleans until August 28, 2005, the day before Hurricane Katrina hit. She and her boyfriend and their four cats evacuated with two cars full of valuables and art and 'irreplaceables'. They rode out the storm in Tennessee in a pet friendly hotel. I Just Can't Help Myself: Framing The Third and Fourth Taboos Framing is an amazing persuasion tool which I continue to explore and in this article, I've chosen some pretty volatile topics to make a pretty powerful point. Using the Power of Your Unconscious Mind to Persuase the Affluent "Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding." ~ Ambrose Bierce Persuasion Based On Your Prospect's Needs "Nothing has more strength than dire necessity." ~ Euripides Watch Your Mouth: Persuasive Oration Language, like persuasion, is an art. It's an art that can be mangled, yes. (Just look at poor Miss Teen North Carolina for a classic language malfunction.) And as with any art, (unless you're a prodigy as Mozart was with music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with poetry, as Pablo Picasso was with painting), most likely you will have to practice to be good at the art of language, and subsequently the art of persuasion. Taking It Down A Notch: The Power of Simplicity in Persuasion "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."-Henry David Thoreau Persuasion Through Storytelling: Gaining Affluent Client's Trust "To be a person is to have a story to tell." ~Isaac Dennison The Fundamentals of Forgiveness: Clearing Your Unconscious "Forgiveness means that you do not hold others responsible for your experiences." ~Gary Zukav Linguistical Pitfalls in Persuasion (Part I) "Linguistics is arguably the most hotly contested property in the academic realm. It is soaked with the blood of poets, theologians, philosophers, philologists, psychologists, biologists, anthropologists, and neurologists, along with whatever blood can be got out of grammarians." - Russ Rymer Employing The "Loop D Loop" In Persuasion Language patterns are some of the most powerful strategies in persuasion. And one of my favorites is the "Temporal Pattern Loop".

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