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Language Alert! Help Your Kids To Be Positive

'I was upbeat when I went into the classroom. But it didn't last long!'

You may think these are the words of a teacher. But no, it was a high school student just before an important exam. She'd worked hard. A good result would mean a place in college, so she'd made sure she was in the right frame of mind.

Then she blew it. She walked into the classroom where students were gathering before going to the exam hall, and allowed herself to be influenced by them.

She told me the atmosphere in the room was charged with negativity. People were sitting around with gloomy faces, some were wringing their hands and pacing up and down. Others were muttering such comments as: 'I'm going to fail, I just know it!' 'This is going to be SO hard!' 'Mr Brown said we've nobody to blame but ourselves.' 'Yeah, it's been an easy paper the last two years. They're bound to toughen up this year.'

So it went on. And the girl in question allowed herself to be sucked under. She reported a feeling of nausea as the confidence drained from her.

In fact, she never failed, but to everyone's disappointment, she never got the high grade expected of her.

But the girl turned the experience into a learning situation. She became aware that: * If your language is predominantly negative, you won't achieve your goals * You must guard against the negativity of others - for if you don't, they can easily 'infect' you too!

What we experience in any given situation is to a large extent decided by our attitude to it. (That is, what we actually feel at the time.)

Our thoughts are conditioned by our attitude, and our speech patterns follow from that. But then our speech affects our next thoughts, so it can be a vicious circle!

And we can be affected not only by our OWN language, but by the language of others - if we're not careful, that is. Here in the UK teachers are used to hearing students say 'I'm stuck!' when working on a classroom assignment or exercise. A challenge has been encountered and the student is having difficulty finding a solution.

Often parents will automatically say, 'Ask your teacher.' Nothing wrong with that, is there?

But the words, 'I'm stuck', are not so harmless as they may seem

What message does that send to the brain?

In my teaching I have monitored this many times, all with similar results. When I hear a student claim to be 'stuck', I usually say 'I'll see you in a few minutes', then I let them get on with it.

The same response will be given to students who say, 'Can you help me, please?'

Can you guess the results? Yes, those who are, in their own words, 'stuck' will sit and wait for help. In effect they have told their brains to shut down, there's no point in trying.

The kids who say they need help, however, are always to be found pondering over their work, trying to work out a solution.

That's the effect language has on us!

Perhaps I should add at this point that I only hear 'I'm stuck!' in new classes. My students soon learn that they are not trees, so they can't be stuck!

Some may think this is a denial of reality. But since our language can affect our INTERPRETATION of reality, why not put it to good use, rather than create 'problems'?

As a writer, I often hear people say they'd love to write a book. Recently one young woman said exactly that, then followed up with '. . . but I don't suppose I ever will.'

My response didn't please her: 'No, it's not very likely, is it?'

We then had a discussion about negative language and she soon saw where I was coming from. As Henry Ford said many years ago: 'If you think you can't, you're right.'

What, then, can parents do to help not only their children's schooling but their life skills?

Help them monitor their language. And, as always, give them a good example by keeping our own language positive! Gently point out that 'I hate Chemistry!' will only reinforce a negative attitude to that subject.

'I need to work at it' will make it easier to do just that!

Now we're on the right track, but what should they do if they're assaulted by negativity from others and lose their way?

The following may sound far-fetched, but I can assure you it works!

It's always best to get off the mark when you meet situations where negativity rules. But when that's not an option, you can pretend that you're enclosed in an enormous bubble or plastic bell jar. And it's mobile, so it goes with you.

Tell yourself that your positive contributions can go out and affect others, but their negative comments bounce off and don't get near you.

Take it for a test drive. You'll like it

Enjoy your parenting!

Article Source: http://free-article-depot.com

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